


quixotic

by lastphanhope



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Chaptered, F/F, F/M, M/M, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastphanhope/pseuds/lastphanhope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil was always told his soulmate would be a beautiful girl with shiny hair and a good sense of humour. It’s not, his soulmate is Dan Howell, who’s got too many walls that Phil’s determined to break down, falling in love with him just happens in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. will you be there?

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my drafts for months and i decided to post it on here rather than tumblr! I'm not going to make any promises about when it'll be updated but I will update it when I can.

Phil Lester wakes with his alarm, which is beeping insistent and quick, he shuts it off with a well placed hand and stares at the cracks in his ceiling for a while. The window to his left, placed high up, is open and the honking of horns and the shouting of people, bustling on their way to work falls into his room.

He slides the cover off and London mornings in October are frosty and biting, Phil feels like it’s seeping into his bones, filling him up, leaving him lethargic and tired.

Phil stands and stretches his arms to the ceiling, cracks his spine, falls to sit back onto his bed and he stares at the wall a little. Life’s less than interesting right now.

Phil moves from his bedroom and into his tiny bathroom, takes his boxers and tshirt off and steps into the shower. It barely reaches luke warm and Phil makes it quick, pressing his temple to the shower wall for a second while the water washes the last suds of soap away.

It’s a Thursday which means an early morning lecture and Louise, who he meets for coffee on a lunch, she sometimes brings her little girl, Darcy, with her and it’s the highlight of Phil’s week.

;;;;

Dan wakes three minutes before his alarm and he counts the seconds till it beeps. He sits up in bed then and presses the heals of his hands to his eyes. Catches sight of the timer on his wrist out of the corner of his eye, he scratches at it, tries unsuccessfully to get rid of it.

3months//18days//7hours//3minutes//14secionds

He wants to chose who he falls in love with, doesn’t want them to be not right for him accidentally, and have to stay with them, miserable. He believes people should at least have the option, whether they want to have the universe chose who they fall in love with or whether they want to chose themselves.

There’s people who wait their whole life for their soulmate, people who don’t wait, avoid them in a flurry of travel and delays. People who don’t have soulmates (the way people often think of soulmates), they find out why in Primary, when they first learn the word aromantic. They just have name on their wrists, platonic soulmates.

There’s also people who have blank timers, people of all ages, all the numbers and letters wiped off by the decided persons death. Dan wishes he didn’t have a stupid timer, wishes they didn’t exist, he wishes more never to see it blank, black and dead.

;;;;

Phil walks out of his lecture with a flurry of students and a scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. Headed for the usual cafe in which he meets Louise, a unusual spring in his step, excited to play the regular game of ispy with Darcy.

His phone’s vibrating against his leg and he struggles for a moment, watches his timer tick down two seconds before he takes the object from his pocket. It’s Louise, a picture of her smiling, in what she thinks is a charming manner, looks up at him and Phil answers with a Bonjour Madame. He gets a giggle and a mutter of what a gentleman in reply.

“Phil.”

“Louise?”

“How are you on this crisp October day?”

“I’m alright thank you for asking. Just headed to the cafe now, have I kept you waiting?” A hint of worry enters his tone, he hates being late.

“Oh no Phil, not at all. But about the cafe, it’s having work done, it’s still open, but how about we go to a different so it’s not so loud?” Louise asks, tells him really, she knows he will say yes.

“Yeah, sure, good plan, where about?”

“Well there’s this cute little one just next to the hardware store, it’s lovely and it does the best hot chocolates, yeah?”

Phil nods, knows Louise can’t see him, it’s a habit. “Yeah, see you in fifteen” Phil affirms.

“You will indeed, I’ll be waiting with open arms” Phil huffs out a laugh before he hangs up, Louise is his favourite person and he does’t expect that to change anytime soon.

;;;;

Dan locks up his shop and heads out to get himself some lunch, he’s left his back at two!:) notice in the door and he has an hour, lets himself have that.

He owns a small bookshop on the corner of a busy street. It’s out of place, lined on a street with skyscrapers, it’s hemmed in, dwarfed by it’s neighbours. The paint on the outside is peeling and Dan keeps reminding himself to get that sorted, it’s sticks out like a sore thumb painted a pastel blue colour against all the silvers of nearby towers. Inside there’s fairy lights strung up and bean bags deposited randomly. It’s warm and there’s desks complete with table lamps for studying. Dan makes any student that comes in a coffee, a biscuit and the WiFi password.

He’s called it The Thumbed Page and it sits quietly, dropped in a sea of busy, calm and waiting to be found by anyone who needs it, it’s Dan’s home and it smells as such, old pages and coffee.

It was his grandma’s, gave it to his sister in her will, Caitlin handed it down to Dan when she moved to Australia with Robert, her soulmate. They visit sometimes, mostly at Christmas, and they’re insanely happy together, and proud of him, tells him he’s done well. Caitlin’s always just wanted the best for him and he loves her a lot, misses her too, they facetime sometimes and it feels like his childhood again, old jokes and happenings, they fall out of their mouths and through the screens, followed by crackled laughter. Caitlin and Robert are coming back right after Christmas, spending their first one with their new born baby, Jenna, in Australia.

Caitlin says you’ll have someone to introduce to us by then, won’t you? follows it with a wink and a smile, Dan grunts in acknowledgement, Caitlin’s always tried to change his views on his soulmate, tucks her dark hair behind her ears and says listen, Dan softly. It’s not bad, it’s a good thing, an incredible thing, everything will fall into place and you’ll be happy.

Dan hasn’t really been happy since his mum left, left her soulmate and their three kids asleep and moved away, he supposes that’s why he isn’t happy, his dad never was after that, he tried to be but he had bags under his eyes and more wrinkles than usual when he died at a younger age than he deserved. He supposes it’s also why he doesn’t believe in soulmates, doesn’t believe that they will be content enough to hold you close for the rest of your lives. It just doesn’t seem plausible anymore.

Caitlin and Dan’s younger brother, Adrian, have both found their soulmate and they’ve moved on, don’t think about their parents ending. Dan must just hold bigger grudges, Dan thinks this grudge, at least, is justified.

His clock still ticks down regardless and he feels more and more heavier each day with the knowledge that he’ll meet this person soon and he’s gonna have to try hard to not let them in, not let them know that prefers mini marshmallows to normal sized ones and that he likes the smell of bonfires, likes the way it lingers on him for hours afterwards. he’s gonna try hard not to let them know him, know him deeply, hopes they get bored of someone unresponsive and move on, find someone else to spend their life with.

Dan tries not to think about the fact that he doesn’t want that at all, not really. He buries that thought, shoves it behind the filing cabinets he likes to think his brain is made up of.

;;;;

The different cafe is lovely, small and tucked near to a small bookshop that Phil vows to himself to visit someday, it’s quirky, wonky and it’s jumbled. The interior is messy and peeling, but in the right way, in they way that makes Phil think of home and calm and used. The chairs don’t match the tables, or each other, there’s pictures of sunsets and water fronts and people bathed in moonlight beautiful and unaware. His timer falls then,down to 0months//0hours//7minutes//40seconds, Phil doesn’t realise this, he’s too caught up in finding a table, making his way to one in the corner. It has a sofa that looks like it’s made up of Marilyn Monroe’s face, two wooden chairs and a low coffee table. He sits on a chair, feeling a little bit weirded out by the prospect of sitting on Marilyn Monroe’s face, he’ll leave that to Louise and Darcy.

He only waits three minutes, he counts the second between, occupies himself with that and the task of familiarising himself with his surroundings. Then Darcy’s grabbing at his leg, a mutter of Phiw! Phiw! coming from her mouth, he lifts her onto his lap and hugs her, presses his cheeks against her soft curls, until she pulls back with the promise of telling him all about her day after they order food because she’s starving! Over dramatic like her mother, a lot like her mother in most aspects, speaking of whom, walks through the door and greets Phil with a hug just as she’d promised earlier.

They order, Phil a milkshake and a bacon sandwich, Darcy a fruitshoot and some chips, and Louise the same except with a diet coke.

0months//0hours//3minutes//28seconds

Phil reaches up to scratch an itch behind his ear, his sleeve falls down to reveal his timer, he supposes it’s the beginning.

;;;;

Dan rushes into his usual lunchtime stop, a cafe that’s about a minutes walk away from his bookshop. It’s very like the bookshop, hidden and unarranged, unconventional. He feels the over whelming urge to check his wrist, he tries to push it down, saves it for later, he know it says he has about three months left. Except he doesn’t, he checks it and it says he has 0months//0hours//0minutes//43seconds he falls apart a little bit, feels his chest cave. nono no. He’s not ready for this yet, he needs more time to prepare himself for what he feels like will be disappointment, meeting someone who will define the rest of his life.

He takes three more steps into the cafe and tries to ignore his heart beating against his sternum.

0months//0hours//0minutes//35seconds

He stands in line, behind someone with bulky shoulder and a black jacket still drawn tight around themselves, despite the warmth the cafe brings. He wonders briefly if it’s them, decides it’s not, they look too placid, uncaring and aren’t panicking at all, just patiently waiting in line

0months//0hours//0minutes//22seconds

He steps out of the queue and into a space next to a seat.

0months//0hours//0minutes//18seconds

He collapses into the seat, sinks into it’s dip, worn through the years.

0months//0hours//0minutes//3seconds

He looks up then, looks at his wrist, see a flicker of movement to his right, ignores it, watches his timer tick down to zero.

0months//0hours//0minutes//2seconds

0months//0hours//0minutes//1second

He watches the numbers get replaced with letters, think and bold and they immediately imprint themselves into Dan’s mind, making sure he doesn’t forget them.

P H I L I P//L E S T E R

He looks up and sees a tall man with black hair and a confused, expectant, and scared expression makes up his face, wrinkles his brow, purses his lips. Philip Lester his soulmate. Dan’s eyes drop to the ground, spring back up and he meets Phil’s eyes for the first time, they’re an impossible blue, bright and moving, gluing Dan’s own to them.


	2. is it the same for you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan talks to Phil, tells him that he never wanted to meet his soulmate-Phil, of course, is devastated. Phil who's waited his whole life for this. There's a law stating that they have to marry within a month, or never see each other again. It's harder than it seems.

The first thing Phil thinks about his soulmate is that he looks wrecked, tired, unhappy and his shoulders slump like he’s holding something up with his back, like Atlas with the sky.

 

The second is that he’s a guy, not that Phil cares, at all, just he was always told from a young age that it would be a lovely girl, with soft curves and hair that falls around her elbows, a freckled back and toenails painted red, chipped but bright. That’s what he’s imagined since his Aunty Caroline said to him oh Phil, you’re gonna meet a lovely girl and spend the rest of your life with her, watching her hair change lengths as she gets older. He told his Aunty he was bisexual but she decided to ignore that.

 

This guy is beautiful though, hair curling at he edges, styled into a fringe that goes the opposite way to Phil’s own. He has a face that’s soft and round, chapped lips and a patch of red on his cheek. Phil knows the universe wouldn’t have chosen the wrong person for Phil, Phil matches him, that he can tell already, but he also contradicts him. Phil’s always dreamed of something like this.

 

He checks his wrist then.

 

D A N I E L//H O W E L L The name has replaced the numbers Phil’s being seeing for his whole life.

 

They feel like a beckoning. Phil walks closer to Daniel, watches him watch Phil intently, documenting his every move, eyes flickering up and down his form. Phil tugs at his tshirt, hopes Daniel isn’t judging him too harshly, falls into place in front of Daniel, who stands and reaches just above you, about a foot or so taller. Daniel’s glaring at him a little bit and Phil’s a bit lost because, Daniel is obviously angry, Phil can see it in the set of his mouth, the crease between his eyebrows. But it’s not Phil’s fault at all, he wonders now if the universe made a mistake, he thinks probably not.

 

“Do you like Philip or Phil?”

 

Those are Daniel’s first words to him and his voice tugs at something in his chest, it feels traitorous, he’s supposed to be cool about this; breath, try not to cry, breath some more.

 

“Phil please, I’m guessing you prefer Dan otherwise you wouldn’t have asked?”

 

There’s an unsure lit to Phil answer.

 

“Yes please, I have to, um, go, I have work. I...sorry, here’s, um my number.” Dan pulls Phil’s hand from where it hangs against his side, pulls a pen from his pocket and scrawls more numbers onto Phil’s arm. The pen drags in places and Phil watches Dan’s face, he’s obviously concentrating and a dimple pops in his left cheek as he pinches his lips together.

 

He pulls back, Phil catches his wrist before he can turn completely, honestly he expected more sparks, there’s none, maybe that means something.

 

Maybe it doesn’t.

 

Dan looks at him quizzically a silent what?

 

“Please can you not stay for like a coffee? I don’t...We were supposed to have another three months but this is what we’ve been given and just don’t go?Not yet?” Phil asks,uncertain, wavering.

 

“I have to um work, you can come, please, it would be better to talk there than in here” Phil looks like he doesn’t understand the logic behind that, Dan ignores it for now.

 

“I...yeah, okay, just let me tell Louise where I am, two seconds” Dan nods and Phil weaves through tables, looking for Louise and Darcy, he hears Darcy’s shout of Phil!Phil! before he sees them and he follows that.

 

He hopes that Dan’s not going to take this opportunity to go, leave Phil behind and never see him again. Phil just wanted an easy way through life, life isn’t so kind.

 

He finds Louise and panics and soon as she asks him where he’s been. “I...something happened, I don’t know what, but my timer’s gone down and I just met my soulmate and this wasn’t supposed to happen right now, he isn’t very happy about it, he seems hostile and I just...” He trails because Louise understands by the way she’s nodding at him, hand on his knee a reassurance.

 

“Well where is he now? I swear if you’ve left him and ran to me Phillip Lester-”

 

“I haven’t.. I came to tell you, we’re going to talk somewhere else, but then you asked what happened and I just-”

 

tears prick his eyes and he stops talking, Louise understands, pulls him in for a hug Darcy climbs round the back of his chair and wraps her arms around his neck from behind.

 

“Go and get him, we’ll still be here, ring me later and tell me how it goes.” Phil nods and stands, walks over to where he left Dan and hope that’ll he’ll stil be there.

 

He is, fiddling with his jumper sleeves, looking around. Dan’s eyes meet Phil’s and he tries for a smile but it falls quickly, Phil tries not to take offence.

 

“Hi” Dan says when Phil’s stood next to him, unsure.

 

“Just follow me, it’s right around the corner” Phil just nods in reply knowing his voice is still shaky.

 

;;;;

 

Phil's nice, in every sense of the word, but he's Dan's soulmate and Dan's more than a little freaked out. His hearts beating hard in his chest and if his life was a cartoon, it would be beating out of his chest, taking his t-shirt with it and showing the world.

 

Dan guides Phil to his shops, no one speaks and it's only the busy traffic that surrounds them to distract them from each other.

"This is it" Dan says, as he points to his shop in front of them. Phil glances up, looking at the sign, the peeling paintwork- looks inside the window, sees the fairy lights and the beanbags, shelves of books. 

"It's lovely, not like any bookshop I've seen before, I like the name" It's cautious, soft. Phil's voice is low- reminds Dan of thick gloves, big hands.

"It was my Grandma's, she handed it down to my older sister in her will, Caitlin gave it to me when she moved to Australia." Dan bites his tongue, tries not to say anything more about himself. don'tgetclose.don'tgetclose.don'tgetclose. a mantra in his head.  
Phil smiles, nods, looks at Dan who's unlocking the door, taking away the 'back at two:)' sign in the window, it's 1:18 and Dan's starving.  
"Want a coffee?" Dan asks, to be polite and because he needs one, and he isn't that rude. Phil looks up from the book he's picked up and was flicking through and flushes.  
"Sorry, yeah, that would be nice, thanks" Phil places down the book at follows Dan into the little room behind the counter. The kettles already on when he walks in, Dan's reaching in cupboards a pulling items down.  
"How do you like your coffee?" Dan asks, doesn't turn around to face Phil just stands with his hands on the bench and back to Phil.  
"Just a little milk, no sugar, please" Dan nods, spoons the coffee into the mug. Phil walks two more steps into the room and sits down on a chair next to a old wooden table.  
"How do you like yours?" He asks the back of Dan's neck. Dan turns around, confused, mouth hanging open, asks  
"um, why do you need to know? I'm making the coffee" Dan turns quickly after that, busies himself, pouring the boiling water into the mugs.  
"I- just, we'll be getting married in a month, and your my soulmate- i just wanted to know is all." Phil explains, scuffs his shoe against the floor. Dan doesn't say anything to that, just hands Phil his coffee silently and sit on the opposing chair to Phil's.  
They sit in silence until Phil's drink is half full and Dan's is half empty.  
"With lots of milk and two sugars" is what Dan breaks the silence with, so quiet Phil almost doesn't hear.  
"What if we don't get married, never see each other again" is what Dan says next. Phil looks shocked, opens and closes his mouth a few time before  
"I mean if that's what you want, okay, I guess I'll just leave now them." Phil stands up, his face blank. He gets to the door of the pokey little kitchen before Dan calls him back.  
"Phil, wait, I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean it to come out like that." Phil turns, looks at Dan slowly, it feels like a countdown to something, Dan's not sure what yet.  
"It's okay, some people feel that way, I just don't, but if you do, then-" Phil goes to turn around and leave again. This time Dan gets out of his chair, unsure as to why he doesn't just let Phil leave.  
"I do, I think that it's a stupid idea that we have to marry each, just because, we're soulmates. I would like it if I got to decide whether I marry you, it's nothing against you Phil, it's the system. It would be different if we got to know each other and maybe fall in love in our own time. I just think it's ridiculous that we have to decide to marry or not within a month."Dan explains to a hurt looking Phil.  
"I- just, what is there to decide? We're soulmates. I don't think-" Phil stops himself, not sure where he was going with that sentence. Looks at Dan says, "Today didn't have to be this shitty." Turns around and doesn't think about Dan. He fails with the latter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the structure is a little messed up??  
> hmu on tumblr!! (lastphanhope)


	3. comes like a comet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "i’m sorry i walked out, i shouldn’t expect anything from you, we can be friends?"OR Louise comforts Phil and Phil begins to understand a bit.

Phil isn’t yet sure if he regrets leaving Dan, he was disappointed and hurt that his soulmate, the person he’d been waiting his entire life to meet, didn’t seem to want him, now or ever, at least he has his number though, he thinks, huffs out a laugh. 

He walks slowly through the city back to his apartment, it isn’t far from Dan’s shop, funny, he thinks, because it would be handy, if his soulmate didn’t hate him. 

As Phil walks, he pulls out his phone, a text from Louise is on the screen, reads, 

what’s he like? ;) xx

Phil sighs, he’ll ring her when he gets home. 

;;;

He arrives home, his hands cold, and toes off his shoes, makes himself a hot chocolate and then rings Louise. 

“Hello, Phil Lester” Louise answers, her voice excited but soft.

“Hey Louise, um it didn’t go so well?” Phil’s tone is questioning, like he doesn’t want to believe it. 

Phil can almost feel Louise’s smile drop, even on the phone.

“oh, honey. I’ll be right round, with some emergency chocolate” and she hang up. 

Phil and Louise have always joked that they are soulmates of the platonic kind, Phil thinks this again in this moment.

;;;

Twenty minutes later Louise is knocking persistently at the door. 

“coming Louise” Phil shouts, drags himself off the sofa, he’s already changed into his sweats and an old tshirt; his sad clothes, as he likes to call them.

Phil opens the door, and is almost knocked over by the force of the hug Louise gives him, it’s tight and Phil thinks that nobody could ever rival her hugs.

“hello” is mumbled into Louise’s shoulder, and she pulls away, grabs Phil’s face in her hands and kisses his forehead; Louise is very motherly and Phil doesn’t know what he would do without her.

She drags him to his sofa, blue and tatty but all he can afford.

“tell me all about it, my love” Louise is sat close, turned to face Phil and she has her listening face on, Phil takes a deep breath, tries not to cry. 

Phil recounts how he followed Dan to his shop, how they had coffee, Dan’s defensiveness when Phil asked how he liked his coffee, and the fact that he didn’t agree with the whole idea of soulmates.  
Louise sat quietly while Phil explained it all, halfway through she brings an arm around his shoulder and he falls into her, saying the rest into the fabric of her dress. 

“I’m sorry he’s so terrible, Phil, you don’t deserve him, you deserve so one who looks at you like the sunshine you are.” Louise says, pulling away from the hug she’s busy giving him

“not your fault” a breathy laugh “thanks, Louise” Phil knows Louise can’t fix this, he didn’t expect that, but he can comfort him and cheer him up, and that’ll do. 

“I think a Friends marathon is in order” convinces Louise

“I agree, I’ll get some popcorn, you put the DVD in” Phil returns, a little more cheerful than before.

;;;

Soon enough it’s dark and Louise checks the time, and pull her head from Phil lap, where it had been settled for the better part of four hours.

“I better get going, Phil, honey, you know, child to feed and husband and all” she explains, kissing Phil on the forehead again and standing up, Phil follows.

“You sure you’ll be alright?” she ask, a crease between her eyebrows. 

Phil smiles at her “yes, I’ll just carry on watching Friends and trying not to think about it.” 

“okay” Louise pulls her shoes on. 

“Drive safe” Phil pulls her into a hug and Louise rubs his back, 

“it’ll be okay Phil” he nods.

;;;

Later, when Phil’s had tea and settled into bed, he looks at his hand, at Dan number inked on to his skin, and pulls out his phone.

i’m sorry i walked out, i shouldn’t expect anything from you, we can be friends? 

he sends another. 

i just can’t not know you, Daniel Howell

he sleeps, very, very restlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter kind of short, i'm sorry, i just wanted to put something up as i won't be able to write for a week because i'm visiting friends for New Year :))  
> i hope you all have a good New Year!!  
> hmu on tumblr!! (lastphanhope)


	4. would it be okay if i took your breath away?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because I know you Daniel Howell-” she takes a deep breath, looking shocked but there’s still a smile on her face “did you meet your soulmate, Daniel Howell, did you?”  
> Caitlin’s excited, very excited- her grumpy younger brother who hated the idea of soulmates had found his. OR  
> All it takes is Phil's clumsiness to get them to laugh and joke with each other.

Dan’s fingers hover over the keyboard on his phone, confusion tugging his eyebrows together- why has Phil text him so soon, he wasn’t very nice to Phil. 

i’m sorry i walked out, i shouldn’t expect anything from you, we can be friends?

is what the text says and Dan has no problem with that, he has no problem with the idea of being in a relationship with Phil- it’s just the idea that he has to marry him within a month. 

He’s read it in old books, dusty and carefully pulled off library shelves and watched it in old film. People used to find each other themselves, bump into each other, meet through a mutual friend, buy one another drinks at crowed bars. 

Dan wishes it was still like that. Although it does make it easier to know that his soulmate- Phil- would get on with him well. He doubts people can fall entirely in love with someone in a month and he thinks it’s strange to be married when your not in love with that person. 

He texts Phil back, apologetic because Phil is saying sorry for something absolutely not his fault and Dan’s a really bad person.

don’t apologise, pls phil, it’s not your fault, i’d love to be friends with you

He thinks for a moment and 

are you free sometime this weekend? 

it’s 2 am and he doesn’t expect Phil to reply at this late hour so puts his phone on charge and rolls over-

if he has to marry Phil in a month and he can’t be in love before he’s married then the least he can do is know the guy.

;;;

Phil wakes up and there’s a heaviness Phil feels in his chest that tells Phil that yesterday didn’t go well, it was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life- that’s what his mum, his grandma, his aunt, Louise had told him- and yet, it wasn’t, it was draining meeting his soulmate.

The anxious feeling he feels in his chest reminds him of the texts he sent Dan last night, Dan his soulmate, Dan who Phil would spend the rest of his life with, Dan who’d told Phil he didn’t want to marry him. 

He rolls over and picks up his phone, there’s two texts from Dan and a text from Louise, he opens the text from Louise first,

hey, we’re going to the park today if you’d like to join us? xx

Phil thinks about it for a moment and replies 

no, thank you though Louise, have a good day xx

slowly he exits out of his and Louise’s message thread and opens his and Dan’s.

okay, thank you. i am free this weekend, when’s best for you? 

Phil doesn’t wait for a reply, chucks his phone on the bed and goes to shower. 

;;;

Phil’s reply to his texts wakes him up and he breaths through the knot in his chest. He picks up his phone and winces at the brightness of the screen, opens the text and he and Phil may not have gotten the best start (his fault) but at least it was slightly better. 

my shop’s closed on a sunday afternoon, how’s that ? you could meet me there and we can go for coffee or something? 

It’s 10:30am in cold England which means it’s around 9:30 pm in Austrailia- he texts Caitlin

skype session? xx

he gets up and makes himself a cup of tea and a slice of toast before Caitlin replies

yes!!! xx

Dan pulls his laptop across the kitchen table from where he left it last night and opens Skype, clicks the video call button on his sisters profile and it’s only three seconds before Caitlin accepts the call and connects. 

“Hi Dan.” 

Caitlin’s appears on the screen, smiling, her hair tied into a bun, loose hair curling at the back of her neck. 

“Hello Caitlin” Dan smiles at her enthusiasm, he misses her a lot all the time, she was always his sister as well as his best friend. 

“What do you need to tell me then Dan?” She smirked like she knew exactly what Dan had to tell her-

“That I- wait- how do you know I have something to tell you” Dan asked, confused, had he already said that to Caitlin without realising. 

“Because I know you Daniel Howell-” she takes a deep breath, looking shocked but there’s still a smile on her face “did you meet your soulmate, Daniel Howell, did you?” 

Caitlin’s excited, very excited- her grumpy younger brother who hated the idea of soulmates had found his. 

Dan just nods, Caitlin takes this as her queue to laugh, she stops onc she realises the look on her brothers face. 

“Dan- tell me you didn’t leave him behind” 

Dan shook his head- “not exactly, I met him and I had three months didn’t I? I had three more months to prepare myself. But I went to get lunch and my timer dropped down to like thirty seconds and I panicked, and then he was there and Jesus Christ, Caitlin, he is so fucking gorgeous, and he was looking at me. So I wrote my number on his arm and tried to walk away but he stopped me and said that i had to at least stay for a cup of coffee.” 

Caitlin’s listening intently, trying to keep the smile of her face. 

“So I took him to the shop and made him cup of coffee, and we spoke to each other for a bit and then we argued and he left. But he had my number so he text me and apologised- he apologised for my tactlessness- so we’re meeting Sunday afternoon.” 

Dan’s head felt like it was emptied of some of the cotton balls, clogging it up.

“Christ, Dan, you royally fucked up didn’t you?” Dan didn’t he have to reply, he knew and Caitlin knew he had fucked up.

“You better apologise to him and fix things because he sounds lovely and he doesn’t deserve this. Get over this grudge your holding against soulmates because of mum and dad’s ending, okay?” 

Dan nodded, agreed, it wasn’t fair to Phil. 

“Who’s this guys name then?” Caitlin changes the subject because she knows Dan will listen to her.

“Philip, he likes Phil though, Lester.” 

“hmmm” Caitlin hums distractedly, typing away on her laptop. 

“What are you- hey wait, no are you stalking him on Facebook?”

Caitlin smiles “No” she means yes. 

“Hey no you can’t do that, does he even have Facebook?” 

“I don’t know, black hair in an outdated fringe like yours?” She asks, laughing.

“Yes” Dan replies touching his hair “and it’s not outdated” 

Caitlin snorts “whatever you say.” 

;;;

Phil gets Dan’s message when he gets out the shower and replies 

yes, sounds good, what time? x

he erases and adds the kiss three times before he just sends it. 

;;;

Saturday flies past quickly, Phil works on an essay but decides to procrastinate with video games. 

And then it’s Sunday and he’s meeting Dan. 

;;;

It’s 12:30 and Phil’s walking the route he remembers leads to Dan’s bookshop, he gets there and all the lights are off and the closed signs on the door but Phil pushes it and it’s left unlocked. 

The shops very dark and quiet, it almost feels like Dan isn’t in but then Phil spots light coming from under a doorway and walks towards that. 

Except there’s a table in the way- and of course, Phil the clumsiest person the worlds ever known, walks straight into it and crashes straight into it. 

;;;

That’s how Dan finds his soulmate for the second time, face down on the carpet. 

He’d been in the bathroom, washing his hands and the lights were off in his shop but he knew his way around well enough to trust himself to navigate it in the dark. 

The same couldn’t be said for Phil. 

He’d heard a crash and a groan and hurried out to see what the fuck it was. 

He turned the lights on and saw a 6ft2 man laying face down on the floor of his shop. 

“Phil? Are you okay?” 

Phil groaned again in response.

“Am I allowed to laugh at you now?”

“Shut up, I’m so embarrassed oh my god. “ Then Dan started to laugh, really hard. 

“Are you usually clumsy or are you blaming this on the darkness. “

“The darkness, why do you have the lights off anyway, it’s winter so it’s dark outside, you need them on Dan”

Dan just laughed and grabbed hold of Phil’s hand to tug him up. 

“Can I buy you a coffee on behalf of what my table did to your dignity” 

Phil’s face broke into a smile, a very pretty, very large smile. 

“That’s the least you could do”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a good New Year!!  
> hmu on tumblr (lastphanhope)


	5. but oh it stings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks for today Phil, I had fun.” Phil smiles and nods  
> “me too”  
> “but I just think...just think that we should be friends for now because...”  
> OR   
> It's going well until something shifts and then it isn't.

They go to the same coffee shop they first saw each other at, Dan says it’s nice and Phil just has to believe him as Dan took him to his shop the last time.

It’s cold outside, and walking into the coffee shop is a stark difference, it’s warm and Phil thinks that if he were to squint hid eyes then the little lights dotted around the place would blend together. But it would be inappropriate to try that now as he’s walking and Dan’s already seen his clumsiness already today. 

“What would you like to drink?” Dan turns his way to ask, hie’s not smiling but he makes eye contact with Phil and something drops in Phil’s stomach and it’s as if everything outside them slows down. Someone drops a spoon and they’re snapped out of whatever that was.

“Um, just a Latte please” Dan nods “I’ll go find a table?” Dan hums this time and Phil walks to the far corner, which has a sofa and low table next to it. He sits and down and breaths for a bit.

He’s met Dan again and Dan isn’t acting quite so disgusted at the idea of being with Phil- which is a relief but there’s still something there, Dan looks unsure and won’t really touch Phil, avoids meeting his eyes. Phil sighs, he supposes he’ll just have to wait for Dan and see what happens, it’s not like he’s got anything better to do really. 

Sure he has his job, lecturing linguistics at the university, he has his friends he sees regularly, but sometimes he feels like he’s a puzzle and there’s a missing piece. Now it’s like there is a missing piece that exists but it swept under a dresser, not to be found for a while. 

He sees Dan ordering at the till, gesturing with his hands and smiling at the old women behind the till. Dan moves to the side while they prepare the drinks and looks around the room, catching Phil’s eye, and then scratching the back of his head, not smiling back Phil.

Phil sighed and decided to test out his earlier theory,he squints his eyes and watches as all the lights become blended together. It would’ve been handy to be wearing his glasses right now rather than his contact lenses but his doesn’t like the way they look on him so that was a no. The string of fairy lights on the wall next to him melt into a string of light, and Phil shakes his head about watching them move everywhere. He laughs to himself and then stops when he sees Dan standing next to the sofa holding their drinks, a smile on his face.

“Are you okay there?” Dan asks as he sits down and slides Phil’s drink across the table for him. Phil feels heat rise to his cheeks and mutters a yes. 

;;;

They talk for hours and hours, it’s easy between then and Dan’s never really met anyone like Phil. Phil’s really is brilliant, he laughs at Dan’s jokes and makes equally as stupid jokes with him. He like most of the same things as Dan, and they get on like a house on fire, which is the point really. 

Dan’s still weary though, Phil is his soulmate, and Dan doesn’t think he can trust his soulmate, he doesn’t see how anyone can put so much trust in one person. Maybe other people have less difficulty doing so than Dan because Phil seems okay to talk about everything and everyone close to him.

They exit the coffee shop at around half five, which is unbelievable that they've being talking to each other for that long and not gotten bored of doing so. “You wanna go on a little walk?” Dan doesn’t answer just falls into step beside Phil. They don’t walk anywhere in particular just enjoy each other company, occasionally talking and brushing hands. Dan thinks briefly of holding Phil’s hand; locking their fingers together and swinging their joined hands between them but no, he avoids that thought before he like the idea too much. 

When it gets dark Phil suggests walking Dan back to his apartment and Dan agrees. They walk quite slowly and Dan leads the way to his apartment, they don’t really talk at all but they silence isn’t uncomfortable. 

When they arrive Dan turns to face Phil to say goodbye and Phil’s looking at him with something in his eyes. Something that Dan can’t place, no ones ever looked at him like that before and it’s terrifies Dan. That’s probably why he says what he does. 

“Thanks for today Phil, I had fun.” Phil smiles and nods

“me too”

“but I just think...just think that we should be friends for now because...”

Dan trails off and turns on his heals, leaving Phil in the dark to walk home by himself and Dan shuts the door behind him.

At least it gets that look of Phil’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so thing is a really short chapter and it's very late, i can only apologise. the next chapter will be longer   
> hmu on tumblr!! (lastphanhope)

**Author's Note:**

> hmu up tumblr!! (lastphanhope)


End file.
